When older men date younger guys (like is normally the case with me) they always give me the same monologue.
Generally it goes something like: “let’s just take it slow, not think too much into anything, and just see where it goes.”
They think they’re saying this because they are older and wiser than you and know how younger individuals act in relationships.
In reality, they are trying to convince themselves to act logical/responsible when it comes to the situation. I mean, they ARE the ones taking the leap and dating younger.
(Lots of perks there)
So I played it my usual coy and furtive self and cut the producer off.
“Yea, yea. I totally agree. Let’s have a few dates before we have sex.” I would say, showing I wanted more than a physical connection, already maturing be past 66% of men my age.
But I was taken aback, “Actually, I’m just really looking for a friend with benefits.”
…
…
…
Well that’s a first.
…
After a quick second of shock I went into defense mode and agreed.
“Oh no, I mean, that’s totally what I want too. I’m really busy working all the time and I can’t have some guy worrying about me all the time.”
You see, this was near the end of our first night hanging out together and we’d done the conversation thing. He knew I wasn’t an idiot. (There goes another 10% of men my age from what’s left-SHIT still not in the top ten percentile yet…)
I thought he’d want to date.
But it was a necessary ego kill.
I thought it over and it actually DID seem like the perfect arrangement. I wouldn’t think about him at all, which would give me enough time to do everything I wanted to do (I have so many projects, I can hardly keep enough time just listing them out), YET I could be sexing someone consistently without feeling like a skank. I’d cut the sex aggregators all together, no adam4adam or grindr for this guy. Just a clean relationship with a fellow, very driven man.
It was pretty damn chill, bro.
We’d eat, fuck, and smoke (in every combination of the three) when we’d see each other very seldom. When we saw each other it was fun, flirty, and just felt awesome, a total escape.
When we weren’t together I did my absolute best to not think about him. I did this by doing what I promised, keeping myself very focused on my ambitions. I was juggling a lot at the time.
He did the same and it worked great.
I honestly can say we were friends, we had a good time, agreed a lot, but also had a lot to learn from the other.
But adding sex into that mix is like playing with unlabeled chemicals.
We agreed we were friends, and would be communicative about if one of us started dating.
Believe me. He and I were on fire; I was uncontrollably attracted to him and it translated into the best sex ever.
Well eventually, I started dating this guy. It turned into a Sophie’s choice, both men were wonderful.
But it was only the beginning with this new guy, and I didn’t want what the producer and I had to end.
As things moved smother and smoother with my new gentleman, I grew more incongruous…
I felt like I was cheating on the producer, but mostly I felt sick because I knew I had to end it with him. It was then that it truly began to hit me that I’d really cared for the guy.
Life hardly ever presents you with perfect timing.
We both couldn’t be in a relationship, he was too busy … as was I, we weren’t at that right “place” – (place really is just choosing yourself over someone else)
And I was sad and scared because I wasn’t sure if moving on meant I’d be losing him from my life, because I’d certainly grown fond of him.
Then I did the responsible thing, and kept it uncomplicated. In the end the relationship eventually called for my cessation from the Friend with Benefits, as that would surely mean I’d end up lonely and probably hurt.
The responsible thing: good for ensuring long-term happiness. The fun thing: world’s best kisser.
I’m a business-minded guy, I had to take the long-term investment and leave the producer to be thrown in the never fully produced bin.
Filed under: DATING, HOLLYWOOD LIFE
